Will anyone ever love me like that?
An autobiography of love
It was dark. There was a cool and soft breeze that was making my back shiver. She asked ‘what do you think about love?’ and I paused, not knowing how to voice my deepest belief. To me love was the most important thing in life; it was life.
I took a deep breath and gazed into her eyes, it was hard to say what love was when I was looking at it right in front of me. She was so beautiful, so alluring, even in the shadows of such a dark room her presence made everything seem so bright.
When my lips moved I wanted to kiss her, but instead my voice came forth almost uncontrollably. Something wanted her to know what I thought of love, of admiration, and the simple belief I had in knowing someone was beyond special.
“Love is faith. Love is finding someone who completes you. It’s about finding someone who has faults and finding them to be perfect. It’s about telling them they are not part of your life, but they define your life. Love is about holding someone and forgiving them, love is about risking everything you are and accepting it will hurt. It’s about telling them you love them with every action and every breath. Love is about meaning it every time you say it. It’s about saying “I love you” when they can’t hear your voice. It’s about believing in the thought and feeling after the end of everyday. It’s about saying it so quietly to yourself after an argument, a cup of coffee, a kiss, a night alone, or a peaceful conversation between you. It’s about having faith you love someone and learning to trust your heart.”
She turned slightly as I finished with the last of my breath. Her face was gazing up as if looking at the stars through the roof above us. She was silent. I laid my head against her chest and realized the sound of a broken heart as I heard her pull back her tears. I asked her- “What was wrong with what I said?”
She couldn’t speak. Tears rolled off her face and as each drop fell it seemed like a moment frozen in time. My heart screamed inside.
I wanted to say three simple words to her, but she didn’t know. She couldn’t fathom how sincere my feelings were, she couldn’t dare say what she needed or what she wanted. I don’t even know if she could accept the words so painfully trapped within my heart. Her eyes were sparkling in the light and I was terrified of a feeling I had never accepted before. I was yearning to comfort her pain, the sadness I saw in her eyes, and calm the trembling in her body.
I begged her to tell me. Slowly time seemed so unreal as the two of us lay together and the only sound I could hear was a broken heart. I wanted so desperately to help her, the despair I felt in her became my own. I urged her to say it. I urged her to say what wounded her so deeply it left her breathless.
She cried for the better part of an hour. I cried with her, as I felt so deeply for her. My hand took hers and I held her closely, hoping that somehow the pain I was witnessing could be only mine. I never wanted to see her cry again.
With one moment of faith- she took a deep breath. Her lips moved and a feint voice asked me a question that would define her fear, the source of her pain, sadness and despair-
“Will anyone ever love me like that?”
Without a moments hesitation and with a happiness only she could bring, I replied-
“I love you. I love you like that.”
Last 5 posts in Daily thoughts
- The essence of dreams forgotten - June 22nd, 2008
- The Saddest Day - June 19th, 2008
- Meaningful things - June 17th, 2008
- Some people - March 19th, 2008
- The Handshake - March 8th, 2008
Leave a Reply