True Love of Coffee

The phone rang, subtle tones pierced the dull illusion of reality I was wrapped in.
My heart stopped.
So I tried to ignore it, knowing something had gone horribly wrong.
My hand touched the receiver and I knew,
my mother was gone.
I didn’t remember lifting the handset,
or hearing the voice of my sister.
I only felt a harsh void,
the stark agony of losing someone I loved.
I cried, minutes seemed like hours that I can’t recall.

I remember almost nothing,
I couldn’t feel anything,
Except for the hole in my chest that I couldn’t fill.
As if the world was suddenly pressing me to the ground
and the only thing I perceived
was that I wasn’t strong enough
to even stand.
I don’t remember losing control,
but I found myself with my back to the wall.
My friend standing near me,
was simply lost as she looked into my eyes.

I tried for a moment to speak,
but the only voice I had could not be found.
It had been so long since I heard my mothers words,
I must have forgot the voice she had gave me.
My mind wandered into a lost heart,
Searching in this second of awareness
when I knew I had lost her,
a moment of definition I would care to never know.

I was her son, a baby she proudly adored,
Who would grow into a man she would never know
I would go home, hold my son
Touch my lips against his head,
Holding him as I cried,
whispering I love him,
And that my mom had died.

One day,
He would cry for me too
hopefully having his child to hold,
as close as I held him.
To whisper through his tears,
To validate his love,
To care,
To perhaps be comforted.
Yet today, as most days,
she is gone.
And I am simply left saying I love you mom.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 21st, 2006 at 4:59 am and is filed under Dedicated Poems, Love, Coffee - Volume Two, Loss. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.