In Front of a Crowd
Posted on 27. Jan, 2008 by Barry Hurd in Coffee - Volume Two, Survival
So many people believe in me,
The things I see, what could be.
Should I just claim, “here I am?â€
As I silently walk onto the stage
Uncovering myself, preparing to expose my fear.
I would rather, as my throat catches my voice,
Try to keep the beautiful butterflies down,
And hope, for one moment, that I am applauded.
There are not many reasons for which, I understand.
Not many reasons at all.
Yet I find myself hearing appreciation, gratitude.
On a pedestal of public isolation,
I am welcomed by strangers, thanked by friends,
As my legs tremble along with my words from my lips,
and my life is thrown out like random confetti.
I say something of which I cannot remember,
As the crowd erupts into a flurry of commotion,
My spirit panics, my breathing pauses,
And I feel myself losing hold of evasive sanity,
The panic holds me tight, as I feel my skin try to crawl away.
I pause, but not with planning,
the type of hesitation you find with fearing,
and I look out into a sea of faces rippling with expectation.
I cannot weather the tide of such unknown envy,
And I dare not leave this post before I am truly done.
If only I could remember,
The fact of why I am here.
Perhaps the truth of knowing my purpose,
Could elude to the reason I share myself,
And help me understand who I am.