When I couldn’t rescue,
Posted on 24. May, 2010 by Barry Hurd in Blog, Coffee - Volume Two, Daily thoughts, Loss
In life, there are many times you realize failure. In many cases my friends think of these moments in terms of careers or relationships… while I think about the severity of a moment weighed against the most critical elements of life and death. I’m glad that my daily life does not warrant this kind of contest anymore, as the responsibility of life and death decisions is an incredibly complex notion full of limitless rewards and unmentionable peril.
In my mind I am glad to have had responsibility like this, and I wanted to say my own personal thank you for all the souls out there who take these duties when no one else will.
Not many people,
know the failure I have known.
Not of simple academia,
or lifelong pursuit,
but of missing the moment.
.
When a fraction,
becomes the only measure,
when seconds define years, often infinity,
and the most wanting, hurtful loss,
is measured by fractions of impossibility.
.
I cannot tell you that I failed,
to this painful misery of holding
your child, the jewel of your life,
your love, the definition of your journey,
for all my efforts I could not succeed.
.
I remember, with crystal recollection,
the moment of decision, made with with best intent,
when my choice was wrong,
and I now cry, forever wanting,
to make that moment different.
.
Yet I cannot,
Time and fate, cruel and unstoppable,
make me struggle, to yearn and hope
that I can choose again, not for you, but someone else,
and it will be right.
.