Three weeks ago, a day no one else remembers

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Daily thoughts

Life has been a crazy roller coaster, up and down, good and bad. Yet the experiences of the past year have been pretty amazing. I’m sitting at the Sea-Tac airport slowly drinking a cup of coffee, watching people go by, chatting to the occasional wandering soul.

Life, both up and down is an incredible experience for some people. I was just telling some baggage clerk to keep take her dreams back into her own hands. She wanted to be a lawyer, yet here she is asking for my photo ID and getting farther from her goal. I wonder, if she had a dream, if she could see it like I do, would she take it?

I don’t know. I guess some people aren’t built like that. The risk isn’t worth the reward, yet they don’t know the reward. They don’t know what its like to wake up in the morning and feel invigorated, to have a room full of people commending you on some remarkable talent, or having the karma you feel when you struggle to reach a goal and finally have it in your hands.

I may be crazy, if not strange. I don’t mind anymore. I like being different and a little expressive. My son was sad that I had to leave for the weekend and that he wouldn’t see me. Something about a five year old hugging you and saying he loves you, that he’ll miss the icon of his world.

That is a lesson in life few ever learn. The understanding that people outside of yourself still care when you are gone. Oddly, that is my theme of the evening.

As I kissed my son on the forehead and said good-bye for the weekend, I knew why there was a caring part of my soul. My mom. I told my son I love you, and as he pulled away in the car I told my mom I love her too. Strange thing is she’s been dead for four years now. She may not be here, but the care she gave me as a kid taught me a little bit about how I needed to be as an adult.

Five minutes later my brother called. He didn’t have a reason for calling, except to find out how my week had gone. My bro and I have had a strange adult relationship, having been roommates at 21 thru 23, he was my best man at my wedding (even though he looked like a mafia hitman), and he has always offered a hand whenever he can. We talk about the strangest of things, but that’s what makes us brothers.

An hour later I sat down at my computer, wondering what I should toss in my bag. I had a couple of mementos that I always take for giggles, and a friend popped up on my IM screen and then disappeared without saying a word. I haven’t talked to them for six months, I wonder why they never reach out. I tried to for months, I would have tonight, but instead I just have to be sad for them and that they can’t express themselves. Some people have a hard time caring when they are in rough spot. I hope they are doing well.

My friend Mark drove me down to the airport, we comically debated the strange aura of American politics on the way down as we commented on his new car. As always, we just sort of muttled through every topic that came to mind as friends should. As we pulled into the airport another friend called to say she would miss me this weekend, apparently she’s finally got a free weekend from her classes and I’m jet setting off to New Orleans instead.

Mark came inside the airport for a few minutes. We sat inside the airport lounge sipping slowly on our drinks as people wandered by and we kept jumping our conversation from topic to topic. Eventually we were both done and we watched this incredibly dumb airport video on noise pollution at Sea-Tac.

He left around 11… and I wandered through the airport security where I stopped for ten minutes and had a chat with the incredibly bored airline checkers. It is Thursday night after all, and few people take these flights. I cracked a few jokes, made them give a chuckle or two, then proceeded to put my shoes on (its amazing what jokes go with having bare feet in an airport). One of the poor women was blushing so badly that I almost felt sorry for her…but she was laughing too hard for me to apologize.

I’m getting on the plane now, thinking about all the people that have become part of my life. For every one I can’t see or talk to, for every one I care about, and for everyone who has ever cared about me… I’ll always remember that I choose to keep the best part of our friendships, my relationships, my family, and my love, closely held in my mind and my heart when I travel throughout my life.

Unique Things

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Daily thoughts

I don’t always remember what I can be, in fact the words that meander through my head often make me pause for a brief second and wonder why I choose to be a little different.

I think for the most part, that being different is better than being anything else. If someone could compare me to anyone, I would hope that I break the mold they are trying to place me into.

I am not a rebel. Nor am I special. I am unique. A person who laughs at the commercials of life, watching each thirty second blip of my existence as I should be understanding a message within it. I try to understand life so that when a perfect moment comes by, I will recognize it and witness it for how unique it is.

I wonder if people realize how amazing that statement is, that every moment is unique, as are you. Every second and every minute is a chance to experience something no one else has, and every experience is a chance to share with someone else.

If I could teach, as I often try to do, I would stop by the wandering soul and say hello. I would offer, to try, not for knowing whether I would succeed in some great task, but so that I would know I experienced life, unique and perfect, with someone else as unique and perfect as I am.

But the world is full of uniquely perfect people. Wonderful examples of friendly faces bumping into me as I try to figure out the road map to my life.

Perhaps, if I am unique, then the perfect nature of this thought is lost to only me. Yet then again, if I am unique, I can only hope that someone reads this and experiences one unique train of thought by experiencing their own unique train of thought.

Isn’t life grand? ;)

In a dream

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Daily thoughts, Romantic

I dreamdt with slow tangible thoughts
taking each breath with desire,
the smell, the fragrant hope of passion,
as your eyes look into me,
and as I lovingly surrender to what I feel.

My mind, every simple simple thought,
is perfectly ignored, as I can only focus on you.
The way you make me live, the way you make me feel,
the peace that you give my soul,
and the ache I felt when you are not in my arms.

If I could think clearly, with just a moment of thought,
perhaps I would realize exactly what you mean to me.
One would think that I may see flaws,
or that I am not good enough for you,
and that for some reason, we will never know.

Yet every time I try, I lose myself in romantic appreciation
wondering if roses or chocolates would be more appropriate,
or if I will comically accept that I’ll probably do both.
I think without thinking- with you it comes so naturally,
to be someone good enough that deserves someone so amazing.

In this dream, my eyes tell me I’m not sleeping.
I pinch myself and am happy to feel it, and yet,
I do not know how my life became a dream.
What is in my life, what is so perfect I must be dreaming?
and my only answer, is you.

I’m one of those crazy people…

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Daily thoughts

Okay… this has nothing to do with poetry. It does have some good self-expression. I saw one of these a few days ago and I’d rather write one up in my free time and prod myself into action. I often find it fun just to list out things I care about and believe. It helps serve as a reminder of where I want my life to go and helps make sure I don’t get too lost in

I’m the guy.

I’m the guy who says ‘Without a doubt’ when you ask if I love you.

I’m the guy who drives ten hours to give you a birthday gift.

I’m the guy who steals your wallet just so that I can buy you a gift when we go shopping.

I’m the guy who gets up at two in the morning to help you when your car breaks down.

I’m the guy who shows up with your favourite comfort food when you tell me you have the flu.

I’m the guy who keeps his word to you, long after you forgot I said anything.

I’m the guy who says ‘do anything’ because I believe you can.

I’m the guy who says ‘I love you’, because I think you are amazing in ways I can’t even describe.

I’m the guy who stands in the rain and holds you closer, just so you can hear me whisper in your ear.

I’m the guy who stands in the center of a crowd attracting attention to himself until you kiss me.

I’m the guy who tells everyone how amazing you are, and that I’m the lucky one.

I’m the guy who stands beside you when you need someone there.

I’m the guy who admits he has feelings and isn’t afraid to let them out.

I’m the guy who takes you everywhere, simply because you make it more special.

I’m the guy who doesn’t tell anyone about your secrets, and makes you laugh about them all.

I’m the guy who tries to show I care, even when I’m not there.

I’m the guy who never walks away, unless you ask me to.

I’m the guy who means everything I say, the one who is honest.

I’m the guy who gives his heart to you, and never wants anything in return.

I’m the guy who believes you are amazing, and doesn’t forget to tell you.

I’m the guy who believes in you more than I believe in me.

I’m the guy who offers you his hand whenever you need it.

I’m the guy who loves it when you help me do something I can’t alone.

I’m the guy who lets chose your own battles, but never lets you fight alone.

I’m the guy who cares enough to admit when I am wrong.

I’m the guy who only laughs with you, not at you.

I’m the guy who tries to simply do more.

I’m the guy who simply believes.

NICE GUYS: If this sounds like you, then let someone you care about know it. Don’t repost it or aimlessly stick it in your inbox. Go grab the lady you care about and let her know how special she is. DO IT!

SWEET HEARTED GIRLS: If this sounds like someone you know, send it to them. Let them know it’s a good thing to care about someone and that they shouldn’t settle into a comfort zone. Give them a nice reminder that nice guys don’t go unnoticed.

Things that make you go Hmmmmm…..

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Daily thoughts, Mystery, Spiritual

In five seconds I forgot to mention
The way you saw me standing in awe
as we both found we knew nothing
the lifetime I would remember you
in the blink of an eye, so fast
the day my hopes were so grand
Do you recall that moment?
the second you lost yourself
in a mere glance across the room
from the quiet heart witnessing the disregard
of how both of us didn’t accept the truth.
Can you believe in one chance
without knowing the subtle romance?
I wonder, if you and I were alone
and no one would have known
would I say how I felt, without pause
to someone who I’d never see again
would I hope to reach out, fall in love
or could I barely manage to be a friend?
I wonder, if two souls like ours can meet
if they can dance for just one brief melody
would you remember anything of me?

A nice letter to my friends

Posted by in Creative Writing, Daily thoughts

There are moments when I think about telling people I care about them. I think about that phrase as I wander through the crowd of the street market, stroll in the park listening to the rustling of leaves, or when I’m just by myself, laying on my back and listening to songs that remind me of how life should be.

I don’t think about who I should say it to, rather I think about who I feel it for. Some are people I know as friends. Some are family. Some are people who I love; some are people that I’ve never met. I think of the little boy at the super market, or the old lady I open the door for. I wonder about the young teenager collecting signatures for a local ballot or the ambulance driver as I watch the spinning lights pass me when I’m driving. I pause for second and think to myself; ‘there is a strange variety of people in the world I care about’.

I wonder, could I tell them that I care? Would there be enough moments in my life to share a brief and honest feeling with them, that the world isn’t full of shadows and puppets walking down the street with faceless expressions that hide such colourful souls?

I don’t know.

I tell myself that life is different. At least I try to make my life as different as I can. As people focus on pointless objects of greed and lose themselves wandering in a world of abstract thought, I stop and think. I take a breath. I decide to make a difference.

I take a moment to make eye contact with the cashier as he hands me my change and say thank you with every ounce of sincerity, pausing long enough he realizes I really mean it. I kneel down to the child being ignored by her mom and stick my tongue out and giggle, knowing that there is an innocent spirit needing some attention. I insist thath the kind old gentleman sit down as he struggles to reach his feet, and I retrieve his cup of coffee at the café when his name is called; hoping that my act of kindness revives a youthful expectation there are still good things in the world.

I believe that people can make a difference. It is not accidental or easy. It takes effort and challenge. For every simple action, there is a time that we can inspire other people with honest goodwill. It is in the daily action of our lives that we have the ability to become something better, and it is in the average opportunity that we have a chance to make something amazing happen. Whether in happy or sad times, our personal dedication to helping those around us is what defines our ‘humanity’. We all have unique opportunities in life to touch the people around us and hopefully we don’t waste those chances to make a positive impact.

If you are on my friends list, I’ve honestly given you more than a moment of thought. There isn’t a person on my account here that hasn’t received some form of personalized attention. We all have our merits and flaws, we all have crazy lives, and without doubt we are all human.

To all my friends in cyberspace, this is Barry saying I care. ;)

(and yes, I am crazy. In a good way, and I’m not afraid to share)

Relentless

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Daily thoughts, Loss, Survival

Relentless
The world, as I know it


Is full of uncertainty


None of us; neither rich nor poor


Can expect anything but chance


If I grow strong


I will succumb to weakness


If I am fragile


I will be adorned with struggle


Life will not, ever, be equal


It will lead to challenge


Fond desires broken by lustful greed


And if I should survive, I ask for mercy


The physical body can be broken


And the pain will be quick and deep


It will not relent, as neither will our risk


Nor it will give us a place to comfort


Yet our spirit, our soul, will thrive


In darkness and in light


It will define our greatest accomplishment


And heal wounds so severe we cannot forget


The life we have, will be of two parts


One beautiful, like a flower, needing our nurturing


And the other, like a diamond in the rough


Forever withstanding time and the strife of living


Our bravery will be our strength


The courage to raise ourselves in a chorus of triumph


We will shout, not to be heard, but to live


As if we are children screaming into the world


for the first time

E.E. Cummings

Posted by in Author's Favorites, Daily thoughts, Other Poets

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

The Way It Ends

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Daily thoughts, Dedicated Poems, Friendship, Honor

I would simply say, adieu.

Perhaps farewell.

No, I couldn’t say good-bye.

There was nothing good.

About walking away,

or watching you leave.

Saying that,

If things ended this way,

I would have to say it all,

to bring closure to each day

to let you know I asked why

I needed to say,

adieu, farewell, and even good-bye.

A contest of comedial significance

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Creative Writing, Daily thoughts

A contest,
No m’lady, I would not jest
This is a challenge of not arms, but wit
To win the heart of a damsel, while I just sit

I will grab my pen
As I learn to focus, perhaps define my zen
I will dabble with my notepad
And wait until I feel something, either happy or sad

No, I dare not confess
I am not concieted, just simply the best
My ass is not lumpy,
but indeed my X says I’m sometimes grumpy

Oh I should define
Some thoughts, before I lose myself in a bottle of wine
Yet I don’t care,
as we all know I’m not all there

So I think, ‘oh shit’
I could perhaps just quit
But instead I will write
or play with my x-box and win another fight

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