Intoxication

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Defiant, Loss

You know I dream
of things

Beautiful
cold
passionate

I touch
my lips pressed against you
as if you beg me to be consumed

Yet I lose everything
My hand fumbles
a second becomes eternity
bright light
loud sound

Chaos
Simple and without purpose
My heart races
it rages
the sound becomes intense
then silent

My thoughts become clear
as if crystal
defined in a vision without reason
and my world begins to change

Yet I find no point
no anchor to hold myself to
The world spins
My grasp on reality fading away

One moment
My soul is awake
Alive and vibrant
the next
my eyes close
and never open

My slumber assured
the world defiantly moving
and I rest
quietly
waiting for my spirit to purge itself
to take a slow steady breath
and awaken
to lose myself to reality
as I reach for something
to drown out the world I left behind

Castaway

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Defiant, Loss, Spiritual

I awoke
In a dream
a place so beautiful
with blue ocean and crimson sky

Everything was perfect
white clouds
brilliant sun
but I was lost

My life was good
but alone
The act of breathing
reminded me I was adrift

My voice could scream
So loudly, so clear
That I dared myself to sing
A sonet carried away by a southern breeze

Simple words
Lacking inspiration
void of anythign but feeling
‘No Hope’

I wouldn’t survive
not for lack of trying
Yet I would perhaps still defy
one last reason to die

My savoire
Oh yes, the valiant spirit who saved my soul
had hope castaway by another
bottled for an eternity as if floating in the sea

Deep water
Blue ocean, tidal passion so unforgiving
I tie myself to a heart still floating
My only hope to save one breath, one last moment of dream

To scream, no sing
To declare that I can yet believe
That vision clouded by morning fog
Could breathe resurrection into my words

Yet I watch, as the sun falls beneath my love
As I hold onto the sunset’s vision settling under the horizon
I simply grow cold, as I gaze east calmly waiting
Wondering if my faith will keep me above the darkness below

This voyage, this fate
a maiden’s life lost with me
Signaled the north tide abruptly changing west
as my heart settled at the bottom to rest

May I yet ponder, my cruel fate may not be unjust
As my eyes see the brilliant grace of night
and I fall unwanted into my sleep, hoping, wanting, needing…
to simply see the wonderous sun and morning glory so bright

Sands of Time

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Defiant, Loss

I lost it
everything I see
the things that define me

In a second
life vanished
as quickly as my footprints in the sand

My only friend
where have your thoughts gone
was this mirage of feeling so wrong

Conversational Razor

Posted by in Coffee - Volume One, Daily thoughts, Defiant, Inquisitive, Spiritual

This razor sharp against my soul

Breaking my spirit like no one knows

Can they hear the tears inside

Would they care if I confide

Cowardly testing this family of kin

Do they know I’ve lost my mind

Could they believe in how I bleed

Fearful of knowing or what I may find

Are these thoughts beneath my skin

Truthful speaking perhaps I need

Maestro

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Dedicated Poems, Defiant

The foreboding absence of a voice
as subtle echoes of thought touch my memory
I can feel, but fail to listen to this heart
I dare not fathom it’s true saying

It beats
Slowly, with a defiant courage
the dream it speaks of is hidden from my ears
Somewhere within me it screams

Yet my ears are deaf to it’s cry
I cautiously wonder if the tone of my imagination is lost
and I ponder if being alone
is simply the cost of discovering a true melody

Can one soul know itself to be brave
as it stands independent in a symphony of emotion
Is one voice enough to declare itself an orchestra of life
when it fails to be accompanied by anyone else?

My hope, my desire
the love I have
the compassion I dare not share
conveys myself in a masterpiece so vibrantly quiet

And I know
that my life is defined by others hearing my performance
as I am cast in a part of being alone
my role in this act is to lead someone to who I am

Without my solitude
the defiance of a soul willing to stand apart
an unbreaking faith to inspire those who cannot imagine
I would lose everything

And we would suffer
as an amazing belief of true independence
would define itself as not being alone
but as note of clarity that connects each chord

Willful Immortality

Posted by in Coffee - Volume One, Dedicated Poems, Defiant, Spiritual

My strength was gone

Yet my spirit was trying

I couldn’t hold on

And my heart was dying

 

Soulful will no longer

Fading to darkness so deep

Knowing this coming hunger

Sadness bringing me to weep

 

Telling my heart not to say

This story was sadly lost

Feelings don’t vanish in just a day

Yet they feel cold like morning frost

 

I hadn’t lived love without knowing

Needing a soul that had gone away

My life was something without showing

That my heart was here to stay

 

Trying to say I cared

I couldn’t make you see

Dying within as I dared

That soulful death was me

Silent Rhapsody

Posted by in Coffee - Volume One, Defiant, Spiritual

Some people express themselves in action far more than they do in words. I used to be a lot more expressive in action and inaction. I did a lot of art and creative things, yet often my silence had more to say than I ever realized about myself. As a hit the end of my teenage years I realized a lot about myself and the things I kept within me. But occasionally others could read my silence like I was shouting at the top of my lungs.

 

Silent Rhapsody

Silent expression so little words

Sometimes laughing even unheard

Wanting desire written like a book

Simple silence with heartfelt look

Words lacking all but a voice

Staying silent is sometimes choice

Personal desire falling to subtle echoes

Others never hearing what only I know

One Tick of Silence

Posted by in Coffee - Volume One, Defiant, Spiritual

Subtle thoughts I heard you well

This room so silent as if in grief

No rustling disturbance of life going on

Patience in the quiet and waiting so brief

 

A place so open without drifting sounds

Peaceful as the dreams I’m thinking now

Never making noise so these thoughts drown

Hearing not the sound of believing how

 

Penchant for dreaming does this silence bring

Whispers never heard and probably imagined

I’m listening to echoes of wandering things

These sounds that end before they begin

 

Can these dreams of subtle noises be mine

Are they dancing in shadows and rhyme

When do these phantoms reveal what they do

These nights are numbered, a clock tick in time

Silent Rhapsody

Posted by in Coffee - Volume One, Defiant, Spiritual

Some people express themselves in action far more than they do in words. I used to be a lot more expressive in action and inaction. I did a lot of art and creative things, yet often my silence had more to say than I ever realized about myself. As a hit the end of my teenage years I realized a lot about myself and the things I kept within me. But occasionally others could read my silence like I was shouting at the top of my lungs.

Silent Rhapsody

Silent expression so little words
Sometimes laughing even unheard
Wanting desire written like a book
Simple silence with heartfelt look
Words lacking all but a voice
Staying silent is sometimes choice
Personal desire falling to subtle echoes
Others never hearing what only I know

The navigator

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Creative Writing, Defiant, Spiritual

There was a moment in my life when I failed
I tried to do something that was impossible
My body wouldn’t move anymore, it was beyond exhaustion
I had pushed myself to the breaking point and far beyond
Exceeding my limit, I lost sight of who I was
But most importantly I distanced myself from everyone
For a short while I believed in defining who I was alone
Yet for this solitude I discovered not who I was
Simply marking the point that I could not pass
I forced my dreams to carry my corpse
Farther than anyone should ever travel alone
I managed to mend broken bone with an unbreakable will
But as my spirit slowly failed my body became still
My hope could not resist the plea of hearing no voice
As the only sound I witnessed was simply my faded and shallow breathing
A soul half awake and half insane
Trying to find itself a light to signal the way
Yet the flame to which it was lured had never faultered
and I learned without doubt or hesitation,
that my heart would always choose to stay

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