That Day

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Dedicated Poems, Loss, Love

The phone rang, subtle tones pierced the dull illusion of reality I was wrapped in.
My heart stopped.
So I tried to ignore it, knowing something had gone horribly wrong.
My hand touched the receiver and I knew,
my mother was gone.
I didn’t remember lifting the handset,
or hearing the voice of my sister.
I only felt a harsh void,
the stark agony of losing someone I loved.
I cried, minutes seemed like hours that I can’t recall.

I remember almost nothing,
I couldn’t feel anything,
Except for the hole in my chest that I couldn’t fill.
As if the world was suddenly pressing me to the ground
and the only thing I perceived
was that I wasn’t strong enough
to even stand.
I don’t remember losing control,
but I found myself with my back to the wall.
My friend standing near me,
was simply lost as she looked into my eyes.

I tried for a moment to speak,
but the only voice I had could not be found.
It had been so long since I heard my mothers words,
I must have forgot the voice she had gave me.
My mind wandered into a lost heart,
Searching in this second of awareness
when I knew I had lost her,
a moment of definition I would care to never know.

I was her son, a baby she proudly adored,
Who would grow into a man she would never know
I would go home, hold my son
Touch my lips against his head,
Holding him as I cried,
whispering I love him,
And that my mom had died.

One day,
He would cry for me too
hopefully having his child to hold,
as close as I held him.
To whisper through his tears,
To validate his love,
To care,
To perhaps be comforted.
Yet today, as most days,
she is gone.
And I am simply left saying I love you mom.

My Daughter

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Loss, Love, Survival

Without doubt, there was a time I hated myself
Not because of you, but because I had no more faith
I loved you, more than I could have ever wanted to
My thoughts, my heart, held you closer than could be imagined

But fate, or the universe, did not care for love
Against every breath I took, every beat of my heart,
I struggled as my hand let go, and my soul could only say ‘no’.
I could only hate myself for crumbling against the loss.

My words, as I thought them, couldn’t be spoken.
I was too far gone, too broken to understand the grief
Yet my eyes looked at you, your perfect face,
And I was briefly tortured by love as I felt myself die.

I do not know if I had faith, if god even existed
Yet on that day I broke myself, I cared for you more than I
And I learned to hate a world full of unknown chances
Yet I never, in my heart, brought myself to disbelieve in you

Your voice, had I heard it, would have been amazing
A brilliant reminder that your soul could dance
But it was never loud enough to hear,
Because the world had denied you a chance to cry

Yet you touched me, no, inspired me to hold on.
Your life, whether short or almost unknown,
Was all too complete. You were loved, more than many.
and with that love, you showed me how to live.

Never again I thought, never again
Would I break myself upon the rocks of unfamiliarity
If I could not share myself with the people I cared,
then I would try, again and again, until I died

I would imagine, and trust,
That one second of being with someone I loved
Was worth the cost of a lifetime of suffering,
And it would let me honor a life no one else remembered

Youth and Love

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Love

For a moment, the suspension of belief

The desire of never looking back
Leaning towards the future of tomorrow
Yet so exposed to history

A poet, a soul waiting to find itself
Lost in a maze of nature’s madness

The deception of a human soul
and the questioning loss of forgiveness.

 

An absolute passion for the truest faith.
The first embrace of a meaningful heart,

The bravery of hope, the honor of compassion

And the open innocence of young love.

Eternity’s Gaze

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Love, Spiritual

If, for only a second
I could look into your eyes
the tragic minute of my death

I would cry, for not needing tears
But of knowing beauty had not escaped me
and the soul I had would be at rest

My slumber, would not lose me
as yet only my heart
would live again, yes it would live

Forever in the moment of our gaze

The Lover

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Love, Lust

I held her, against my body

Like a lover, an amazingly sensual spirit

Her touch burned me, made me writhe

Yet I would not let go, entangled in our passion

Our lips touched, pulling my sanity into bliss

I could taste her, no, I could only lose myself in her

She held me down, like I was powerless

My soul could not resist, nor could my body defy

Her tongue whispered, so quietly as she touched my ear

The fragrance of her lust kept me in a sedated rage

As my mind became lost in sharing, everything

Cupid Surrenders

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Defiant, Loss, Love

Cupid Surrenders

I was a simple, honest paladin of emotion

Crawling through a minefield of destiny’s tears

The soldier of a passion crucified upon my desire

And lost to the eyes of those who would deny me

I was not blind, no

My vision could span years of life,

From here to there, beyond the horizon

Across this land, and over the sea

I was the thing meant to be, forever

The last definition to embrace a soul

A charming moment that lived away unseen

And the only words to escape lips so beautiful

Yet my name was unspoken by you

In silence, my grave bore no resemblance to my life

I was forgotten, but not gone

Stolen away from a soul that could no longer understand

I could stop between the beat of the drums,

And realize I was at war

My purpose, the faith, and everything I was almost lost

As my will grew so tired of paying so high a cost

Oh dear god, I am alone, the favorite never chosen

The one true warrior who never denied my duty

As again and again, my blood was spilled upon a field of roses

If I were a man, I doubt that my body would still follow me

Yet I think; I am a man, and a woman

I am the force that binds two hearts

The cavalier thought who knows no fear

I believe in a unison that I must provide

But my bow, alas, is empty

I have but one arrow left

I regret, that I save this one for me

And I pray that it finds my heart quickly

A Road Less Traveled

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Defiant, Honor, Love

If I had, only once chance
To say the things I needed to say
I would pray that you hear my voice
To you, to everyone
Before my life was undone
Would you believe, could you see
That I was, was what I need
of what I had done, was choice
I say, with every breath, my last
To believe in you, the dice I cast
No, this was my destiny
The road that what me,
The path that made me bleed
Do you know, of things I could relay
That love would simply not die this day

The Death of a Lover

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Defiant, Loss, Love

I tried, with every ounce of who I was I held on
Her hand was warm, her eyes piercing
I can be honest,
I was desperate
Her lips though, were so cold
I feverishly held her against me for a moment
As she didn’t speak, telling me she had to go
I could feel what she meant
But I was ashamed
I simply wasn’t good enough
I couldn’t change her mind
My faith, my belief, my love
wasn’t enough
I tried,
I begged her to stay,
as the fire in her eyes turned gray
I lost myself in my screaming
as I held her closer than I ever had
and as the rain came down,
Part of me became so sad
as my life changed  against my futile resistance
I said good-bye
to everything
I gave my heart to you
to all I knew
and I cried
that day you died

How love becomes a stranger

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Honor, Loss, Love

I missed you and I didn’t even know it.
A festival of memories wandering through my mind
and you were there, inspirational, beautiful, yet unaware

Completey oblivious to the history I recalled,
Never knowing that some you once knew still cherished you
Faithfully staying silent and moving away, trying to be invisible

So many hard choices had been decided, but the hardest was horribly simple
To remain outside, to disguise the face I wore, and to become nothing
I would be irrelevant simply to keep the intentions of my word strong

And you would walk by, laughing and smiling
Never realizing that someone was still willing to throw aside everything
To make sure you never saw them

Cult Classics – The Princess Bride

Posted by in Coffee - Volume Two, Honor, Loss, Love

True love,
How does the Dread Pirate know of love?
Inigo wields a sword, as a master
Vizzini tunes his wit, like a fine instrument
But you, even in the shadow of night
Hold yourself stronger than I do
and I, as know, could have killed you with a rock

Dear Fezzik,
You may not know it, but your stature is dwarfed
By the heart inside of you that cherishes your friends
You stop and hesitate, to give a man his chance
When others would take merely take another’s life
You my friend, are simply stronger in ways you cannot see

I too, am stronger in ways that cannot be seen
My lips have tasted the sweet fragrance of life
And regardless of how many times I swing a sword
I am left alone, in search of my love
My arm only reaches for more, as my life needs more
It needs to find the half that completes me, and gives me reason to breathe

No my giant friend
I do not know of love, I merely dream of it
As if I was drowning in the sea of pirates I became
When my lungs gasped for air, fighting for one more chance
And believing in someone that could be stronger than I
My friend, that love has always been the reason why

When I see her again
My body limp and frail, unable to stand
I will raise up to defend her,
To stand by her side, to hold my love near
And to realize my dreaming has led me
to hold the one person who defines true love

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