A lot of people ask me how to go about establishing an online network. Whether they need it for a new job or to help establish business prospects, realizing the value of your social interactions is essential. Through networking, you can discover that brief contact with an informative and friendly approach can come back years later.

Example One- Job searching two years in advance.

My current position at Blogging Systems Group is a key example of how networking works. I saw an interesting press release for Blogging Systems that included my passion for blogging and sent off a friendly e-mail. I wasn’t looking for a job at the time, just thinking about how interesting the article was. Two months later my CEO (Richard Nacht) struck up a conversation via e-mail when he remembered some comments we had shared.

While I was thinking about the opportunity, I asked him about some other people working with him as references (yes, I’m a job seeker that asks for references) – he gave me Paul Chaney’s name (BSG’s VP of Marketing.)

I laughed and thought “Sign me up!” He asked if I was going to call Paul, and I didn’t need to. Two years earlier I had exchanged a round of conversation with Paul when he was running a blog marketing firm- Radiant Marketing Group (now defunct.) I knew Paul was a good guy then, he had made some memorable impressions on me, and I was good to go.

The point here is simple- I wasn’t looking for a job. A job found me. Because I had networked properly for years, Paul’s name was all I needed to know what I was in for.

So avid learners, here are some basic lessons to growing your own online network-

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When you were standing in line ordering a cup of coffee today, did you waste three minutes of your morning watching the barista stand behind the counter? Did you spend fifteen minutes watching a co-worker sip a soda in the corner of the break room?

That is what I refer to as wasted networking time. While standing in line at the café, or waiting for the check-out at the grocery store- turn around and strike up a conversation. I promise, it won’t kill you.

I know the title of this article says “online network” so I’ll draw the comparison for you. If you are reading this and haven’t done so already, add a comment. Ask a question. Open a dialogue. Talk to me. I promise, I won’t kill you.

Wait for a second though. Ask yourself, why do I need to grow my network today?

I know everyone likes me just for who I am, but I also accept the fact that we all have different needs. Don’t be afraid to share some of those needs. If you want to ask how you can network, great. If you love coffee and want to chat about the best café in town, I’m your man.

The real emphasis is that until you communicate with someone, you don’t know how they can help you. With communication comes knowledge. Blogging allows us to express that knowledge in articles like this one, but only through commentary and inquiry does a dialogue open. That conversation creates a community, and that community overcomes obstacles by leveraging the strength of your network.

I already have a network! (?)

Really? Have you ever taken the time to sit down and map out how your network functions? Do you know the fundamentals for your professional network?Before you say

“I already have a network”, take five minutes and detail it out. Most people find they have three distinct layers in a network (often referred to as the 3 degrees of separation)

Your “inner circle” – This is usually the five to twenty people who blur the line between professional network and personal friend. They are willing to do things with little or little detail based upon your opinion of the matter.

Your “circle of influence” – This is usually the 100 or so people who you directly interact with on a monthly basis. It includes the “inner circle” of your own inner circle of friends, as well as those people who generally have a good opinion of your professional style.

Your “introduction bubble” – This may be 5,000+ strong. These are typically individuals you have only been introduced to. You may have only spent five minutes with them, and it often defines people you meet in networking events or through your own circle of influence.

Most individuals have immense “introduction bubbles” garnished over years of being in a profession. The key focus with a professional network is two-fold: you must grow new associations and nurture the ones you have. Services like linkedin, ryze, and plaxo are great ways to grow your introduction bubble (I even went and created entirely new accounts on those services to show people how this process works.)

The exact nature of this “introduction bubble” is to introduce you. By detailing where individuals fall within the three layers of your professional network, you have the ability to create a game plan to nurture your introductions into your circle of influence, and your circle of influence into your inner circle. The key is to always have a handful of individuals that you are exerting effort on at all three levels. If you compare your professional network to a garden, you will realize the necessity of constant attention and love will pay-off in the long run.

In my next piece, I’ll detail some of the exact steps for becoming a more proficient gardener.

For more of my like-minded articles on social networking, take a look at some of these-

Community Etiquette – From Good to Bad : Some basic points on maintaining good etiquette in an online environment.
Building Your Brand : Establishing yourself so that you stand out from social type-casting.

I almost have to laugh, because I had written this article last week while traveling and today it seems more appropriate then ever. When confronted by the numerous times I’ve encountered various mindsets of individuals on multiple boards, forums, wikis, communities, and blogs – how does one go about networking on a consistent basis without stepping on a few toes? The answer is simple, you don’t.

In real life, I am often referred to as one of the friendliest people you can know. I can talk to anyone on almost any topic, ranging from teen age crisis and legal issues, to politics and business taxes. I rarely (if ever) find someone in the real world that I cannot form a positive relationship with.  Yet without failure, there will occasionally be a personality that seems to beg of being inappropriate or rude. This could be the intoxicated wanderer at an evening get together or it could be a professional who is out of their element. It could be someone you have to work with, or someone you will never see again.
Online networking and conversation holds some of these same real world elements true, but it also creates some amazingly short interactions that are seemingly drawn from a bad day of work or personal episode. Just when you’ve mastered some of the basic skills for interacting with the masses online, a new contributor comes along and breaks the mold of consistency and friendly nature.

Online communities can be amazing tools for making connections for business and personal interests, yet it can also be a detriment to how you are perceived. I’ll take a moment to share some of the tips that I have published over the years for interacting in a potentially volatile environment. This used to be one of my favorite presentations for online communities, as most individuals in the corporate world seem to apply corporate etiquette to blogging. 

• Understand the culture and the community: Every site and community has a different flavor. Myspace is different than FaceBook, Yahoo 360 different than Linked-In. They not only have different technical platforms, they have different personalities on both sides of the controls. One moment you may be having a chat about the latest gadget and political joke on site A, and the other moment you will find insult on answering questions or discussing personal topics.

• Develop who you are: When you get online, don’t try to fake it. There are plenty of people who recognize you from other social circles and environments. What you say on one will be noticed on the other. It may not be written in the text on screen, but the wandering reader will take note of places you have long forgotten.

• Don’t be pushy: If you have an alpha personality or stubborn streak, sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee. The social cues given in the online realm are far less telling than the ones you may receive in the real world.

• Do not take offense: People often get grumpy for all the wrong reasons. In an written environment, bloggers often fall prey to a few words that flavor an entire relationship. One brief statement does not make a relationship, nor does it create one. A relationship is made by a consistent level of interaction over a period of time.

• Do what you say: When you write down a course of action, do it. There is nothing more damaging in the business world (and relationships of all kinds) than declaring a list of actions items and then failing to carry through on them. If you need to change the course of action, declare the intent to do so. The world of online communities presents us with the challenge of never knowing who may be reading our ideas, and a professional will carry through on statements knowing that there may be individuals that are acting upon it.

• Do not abuse the community: We all hate spammers or unsolicited sales calls. Members of a community also dislike it when the culture of the community is being abused for other motives. When joining a new group, the purpose of joining should be to participate in the conversation of the group. It should not be to pursue personal agendas, until it is known whether or not those personal goals fit in with the culture of the community.

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• Treat people like you were having a face to face meeting: So many people become rude or negative online when they would never do so in the real world. There is a tendency in new bloggers (or any online forum) to make hasty statements or jump to conclusions about being treated unfairly. They lack the experience or the understanding of the community environment, and blunder into social situations simply because they don’t know any better. This could be easily compared to someone walking into a courtroom for the first time and failing to pay the judge the appropriate respect.

• Offer your assistance: With any sizable group, there will be varying levels of skills and experience through-out it. Everyone will have a strength and everyone will have a weakness. Most of us will know what our strengths are, while few of us will know our weakness. Offer assistance, friendly guidance, and helpful mentoring to your fellow community members. If they react poorly, give them room and step back. Not everyone takes kindly to having someone know more than they do in a specific field.

• Remember “do unto others” and “what goes around, comes around”: Online communities are chalk full of karmic balance. Both good and bad things come back to you months and years after the fact. Even when someone treats you poorly, take a moment to gather your thoughts, provide a respectful exit, and move on. You will find that being the better person in an online conflict is far better than being known as a negative personality.

• If you do step across someone’s line, apologize: Treat everyone online as if you are dealing with someone of another nationality. Do not take your preconceptions into the conversation. If they say they are offended, offer an apology and move on. Do not attempt to move past a simple apology, if someone chooses to be offended with a simple interaction there is often little you can do to change their opinion. Accept that some individuals either have thin-skin or are seeking conflict.

The lessons of online community are simple. Give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t jump to conclusions about who they are or what they are saying. If you don’t understand a question or comment, ask for clarification and move on. There a millions of people to interact with on the net and in real life, making a decision from the beginning to be a positive influence on the people around you will earn you the respect of other individual and of the community.

If all else fails, enjoy a cup of coffee: There are bigger issues in life. Don’t fret one bad apple. Every community is full of friendly members who are seeking your expertise and knowledge. Share yourself with other like-minded souls and enjoy another conversation tomorrow.

This play is somewhat the gold standard of theater, haha. It has lived on through two renditions on the silver screen…

I don’t often get a chance to go see a bonifide artistic work at a true theater, but since I was in New York I thought that I should watch at least one show. For this visit, I chose to go see “The Producers” by Mel Brooks. If you’ve seen the latest movie rendition of the play, you would probably love this. Watching the great changes in the sets flip from section to section is pretty wonderful in this one.

The crew on this one had a great presence, and I didn’t spot any missed lines or obvious errors. “Springtime in Germany” is just a funny song, and you have to make sure that everyone you see it with can appreciate the humor and tone of the entire play.

If you are really looking for a great ride in New York to get the adrenaline pumping, the next time you get off the plane- take an extra $20 and tell the cab driver to get you there as fast as possible. This is an adventure, and not for the weak of stomach.

My friendly driver, a guy in his mid-forties who barely spoke any English should have been an Indy driver. He made so many lane changes in one city block I don’t even think he realized there were lanes, and whenever I looked down at the road my seat was directly  over the line. He took several turns at a high enough speed that the back end of the Taxi slid into place, and I’m pretty sure he took flight on at least one of the bumps we hit.

It was fun. The craziest part was that we passed at least a half dozen police cars doing 20+ mph over the speed limit and breaking almost every traffic law I can think of. I don’t know if it is just New York, but it seems the bright Yellow of the cab makes it incredibly difficult for a police office to see.

I would hate to imagine what the insurance rate for a cabbie in New York is, but I imagine they either develop great driving skills or they simply don’t do business for long.

The nature of competitive business in New York is just brutal. The real estate convention I was in town for had several people describing the territory as “bloody”. I even heard a half-dozen comments about Seinfeld commentary regarding home buyers checking the obituaries for a good real estate deal or apartment opening.

In such an environment, the speed and precision a professional needs to maintain even in such a basic industry as cab driving is a key example of how competitive metro areas can be.

One of the things I often get credit for is relying on my one true addiction- coffee.

I can thank the universe that I have such an addiction. It gives me the perfect invitation to sit down with a new soul and learn about what they do.

I do not need to know them, I only have to be willing to share something I love with them. For a brief few minutes, we are just two people enjoying the drinks of our choice.

Sometimes I run across someone who hates coffee. This is not a deterrent or closed door. In fact, it is the essence of why I love coffee. In relying on my love of coffee, I must throw aside my personal security and try something new.

This has led me to a variety of tea, chai drinks, mystery concoctions, wine, beers, and things with names I can’t even say. Yet for the most part, I have found that I have enjoyed trying something new since the person I am having it with usually has a love of their own. The energy they bring to our encounter adds to the very experience.

I love the adventure of trying something new, take my bumps and bruises; simply so I can meet new people and enjoy a new relationship.

Now take this mindset and apply it to business.

In a few days I’ll be flying to New York City for a large conference to do multiple sessions on the topics of social networking, blogging, and building community. Our company will have ten people at our booth, yet inevitably one or two of us will have a hard day and shrink away from a “bad encounter” on the conference floor.

This will undoubtedly happen to me, when I accidentally spill my coffee on someone I am talking to and they take a swing at me or tell me I’m a clumsy fool. Yet I will take a deep breath, dust off my karmic bruises, and greet the next person as if they are my friend.

Why? Because they well could be.

Even when dealing with business, a primary thought I always have in my head is personal. I wonder if this person would be fun to go hiking with or if they have a recommendation on how I should raise my five year old son.

The personal element works for me. I believe human nature is to relate to others on a human level. Once you find common ground in the types of coffee you like, you can often find common ground to working on a more professional business level. This common ground can be built off anything, including what you may have thought as a flaw.

Being human, requires fault.

I love my coffee. People understand that. I have other faults that I often openly (and repeatedly) admit to.

The point of this message

Is that some disadvantages can also be our greatest assets. We can share faults just as easily as we can share success.

If you learn to look at how you handle your flaws, you can realize that those very things in life actually provide you with a tool for building human relationships.